i feel guilty for kissing another guy

It happens, in other words. Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk or get the other person drunk in order to find out if they have any chemistry with each other, and they temporarily forget about the fact that they are already in a relationship with another person. So this was me subconsciously- not *setting* the standard but showing my maintaining it as per our agreements over only having eyes for each other and always, ALWAYS being 100% honest with each other no matter WHAT. Add your answer to this question! Not Opening Up To You Anymore Which may not seem like a big deal for some of you. Past is something you cannot change. I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. 507 views, 8 likes, 5 loves, 10 comments, 6 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scrittori a domicilio: Mattia Insolia, Cieli in fiamme (Mondadori) con. Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. I read or heard somewhere that the only good thing that comes of guilt is to prevent you from doing it again. Look at your first kiss after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter. I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. (Y)), Hey its really grtt to hear tht u really care n lot of emotion for ur hubbyv only come to kno abt our loyalty only when things like this happens.u kissed him thn u realised that u hv done mistake bcoz u really love ur hubby n dnt want to cheat him.but since commuting mistakes is a part of human nature n being human it happened but determined urself for not to continue or commit such mistake is the real proof of being loyal. However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. I want to break down and cry. Thus it's what I *DID DO* - back in September when at an Indian restaurant with friends (I mentioned it on this forum as apropos to someone's thread) and some bloke tried to come onto me. That's alright, that's a common mistake. As one young man said " time heals" and he's so right. Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? I too stand by my post as well-doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken. Are you sure you didnt have sex with him/her? All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. With the other woman just across the room! I spent the next day in bed all day crying and it has to be one of the saddest days of my life. An affair isn't a bad choice made when a married person decides to sleep with someone that they aren't married to. SA you have got it- it is more the "what's behind it" than what happened. I felt sick! My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. What? Personally I don't believe in marriage. You don't have control over these things. Even if it is innocent kiss, I am done. 4. It how you deal with it that makes the difference. Personally, I think even innocently returning a kiss is cheating, although Id probably keep it to myself! I've never gone to a counsellor before, but I'm going to see one next week to talk through it. Do you? I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. :(. female She may mean it now, but maybe next week she wont, but you cannot rely on it..Is it a pattern of distrust? You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. You lied to me for 2 years? Houston, we have a problem. You're going through tests BY OTHERS to find out why you can't fall pregnant. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). Tico Franklin, now 40, faced the death . You'll have to accept it, face up to it, and put it behind you. (Sorry you got cheated on. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. Carl Jung said that if you're dreaming of a stranger of the opposite sex, it usually means your psyche is tapping into your inner man or inner woman. Then I ordered taxis, woke up the other girl and we left. I'm mortified. It's not fair they didn't ask for it. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I'm not going to let that or any insulting aspersions, subtle or otherwise, put me off. Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. For starters, your husband, even when supposedly immature, didn't kiss HER. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. He Have Lipstick Stain Or Make Up Stain On His Face It's an obvious sign that someone kissed him. Thank you soulmate,but I'm getting over those issues. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. (SK: no, it's just one of those places that's never appealed, holiday-wise, no doubt exacerbated by the fact I don't like long-haul flights for how they literally do my head in (think it's the aircon gas plus oxygen deprivation (don't get me started)) often lasting for a whole week afterwards, which isn't exactly what I call having a nice time.) Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships, My magic wand would remove shame from sexuality for all! We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? The short answer to your question, for this BPD is: No, I don't feel guilty. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. Confesing to your husband was risky. I dont know what else to do. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) ;-) For me i felt guilty for enjoying it so much. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" Not sure how anyone can say they're "certain" he doesn't need to know, given the fact that he made his own standards and expectations perfectly clear on that score, back when he himself was the 'victim' of a come-on. And, of course, cheating always tends to increase during a recession. I told him straight away what had happened. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? Oh, and FYI again: so drunk I didn't know what I was doing tends NOT to be so plugged-in she 5 minutes beforehand notices the sleeping other person needs a blankie and a tucking-in. I kissed another man four years ago. I think my husband could maybe forgive the kiss, but the doubt would be there, he would wonder if this could happen again, and he would be so hurt. Oh, I see. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. When he finally called me up, he said that he needed to stay away from me, much as he enjoyed teaching me music, he felt that the next time we met, things could get even worse and he didnt want to destroy my marriage. Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, I can see you feel very passionate about infidelity, however, on this occassion I won't be taking your advice. Pre-kiss, the straight guys none of whom have ever kissed another man before are asked where society hasanyrules for interaction between heterosexual men. [1] you didn't foresee and avoid being in that predicament. It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. Youre not homosexual until youre actually attracted to dudes., MORE : Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, MORE : These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Doctor explains why some men faint or get nosebleeds when they get an erection, This is the number of sexual partners the average Brit has had, Mum in coven manifests orgasms and schedules sex magick with husband, Post-pill clarity: I came off contraception and didnt fancy my partner anymore, How I Do It: Its empowering to have a guy over and pleasure myself afterwards, follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time, Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Do not sell or share my personal information. I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. You're the worst! You have no right to unburden your conscience at the expense of your partners happiness. I thought we were talking, in context of the above-type scenario, about mouth-to-mouth kissing being a 'gateway to sex' for the fact of it sparking physical arousal, ergo, whether delayed or in-the-moment, counts as foreplay, ergo, infidelity (albeit, granted, at the thin area of that whole wedge). Life's a bleedin' mystery, ain't it? The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another mans mouth while he stood by only to observe. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. By having a relationship with someone else and then just disappearing off it made things so much more complex for me, him and particularly the DC. It's where the lips have been and where they're going. I think its interesting that you put in the innocent and the guilty kiss. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A And he grabbed my waist!. reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): A It sounds like you are projecting your own fears onto him. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" I am sure this girl knows he is married. female And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. And note, you don't HAVE to take my advice. This one by far has lasted the longest. FoxieLadie is David bit Jordan. And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. Yet obviously (action of posting on a forum after having pulled the snog plug) you don't like that bit. Ugh, basically. (I bet many would not kiss & TELL -as it would only invite chaos in their marraiges). I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. I was very drunk. Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. Your guilt is your punishment. If you feel like this about yourself then you may be worrying about what he will do while he's at university. What did she say? It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. For what possible reason? I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. I have no idea who the girl is. It was just a kiss. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. he said the situations arent at all the same bc he doesnt feel turned on by me kissing another guy the way i do from a male on male kiss. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. I just knew you would cheat on me if given half a chance.. No, you don't. After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. I see this as two issues. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. You already have internalized that part. And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! This. I dont believe in innocent kiss. She has just sent a private message to him on FB. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. And a stitch in time saves nine. Whoops. Helping ppl have the sex life they truly want thru writing & education. reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): A True mistakes get owned and rectified. (That'll do me nicely! "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. You can even introduce is as you 'having something to tell him that you're very proud of yourself over and wholly expect will make him proud of you too'..such as: Later, he tried to make out and I said no because I felt it was wrong.I told him I needed a uber. Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. By clicking 'Submit' or otherwise submitting this form you agree to the, By entering this site you declare Feel free to start your own thread if you finally find you've a need to.). Houston? Even though it took her a while to make that choice, she both never recognized her role and then made a series of bad choices after. Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? Confide in someone you trust. I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. 4 days ago. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. I was very drunk. reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): A Houston, this team needs to rectify the causes or agree to seek outside help in it whilst this one team member needs to atone for having almost embarked on a hurtful and potentially damaging test unilaterally without her teammate's consent. Yesterday night we went out to drink. Either way, I've noted your comments, I've already decided what I am going to do, and I'll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. Guilt occurs primarily in interpersonal contexts and is considered a "pro-social" emotion because it helps you maintain good relations with others. You cheated. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . But I'll let you off because that was a MacResponse whereas 'a lot to take in', i.e. Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. We use cookies on our site to remember your preferences, monitor site traffic and offer personalised ads. This of course over a year ago. And Brodie groped James. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. focus on you and your DH. Or do I? It takes to heal the wounded trust again. Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. I kissed another guy while drunk. We all should know by now that alcohol affects our judgment and that it can make us less inhibited and cause us to behave in ways in which we never would behave while sober. My husband always encouraged me to pursue music, and, when I told him that this guy wanted to give me advanced piano lessons, my husband was in favor of this. Like stateside, maybe southern California or San Diego? If I receive a text from someone that is flirtatious in anyway, I test the person back and tell them that I do not want anymore flirtatious texts and if we are friends then they need to respect my relationship. So, I reluctantly confessed to getting drunk and kissing my piano teacher. 15 votes, 25 comments. But the guilt is killing me. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. Food for thought, Michelle Langley. I also agree with SUSIEDQQ that is won't be the worse thing that will ever happen to her or her marriage. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. I am biased and do hold strong views because my XH cheated. Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. And it's weird, but it's like I need the guy to tell me what I did was ok and I'm not a bad person. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. Pointer much appreciated, though. Iam a bisexual man and kissing a female is a different feeling then with a male. Its more like an excuse for cheating. This feels huge to me. I agree with you about her being straight forward and telling her husband about the kiss and not holding back any secrets. 8=) ) What is he supposed to do with this information? ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. I don't know if he wants to still be friends with her on FB or not. Remind her of your good points. Shes Colombian and very fiery. I also could not fathom if you were ACTUALLY being serious or just having a laugh at her expense..alone in your tracky bottoms in your living room. My wife wants to leave because of this. What does it mean for my marriage? I'm not married nor have I ever been married. Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. (I wonder why.) female Try-it-on, cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman; 07/12/2015 22:05. Again - your choice. Being an authentic partner and holding back secrets does not seem to go well together. Go cold turkey. With or without the same seniority. That's a lot to take in. :-)), SOULMATE: Meant as in the universe of sisterhood (wrongly) To award Biggest B*lls on the Block Award -comment never was to imply same race- so on behalf of the Academy I accept :), (Good stuff. I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? I'm taking it day by day. Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. Here are the frightening ways to know that he gave another girl a kiss ; 1. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. I wouldn't want him around the person. Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. It was such a weird experience. Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. But I can't leave my job. I couldnt take it so I told him. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. (By the way, dwahling, am loving your tu-tu and Toys R Us tiara! All of sudden my guy friend stopped texting me good morning and good night Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. That is what separates the women from the girls. He has morals. in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. Do you think it's better to alleviate your guilt by hurting someone you loved or better to just deal with it on your own? drunk, kissing. Sometimes it doesnt help to tell your partner everything. I said no but he assured me nothing would happen and we would just lie and cuddle.In a drunken moment I agreed and he assured me nothing would happen. If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. My thread is called Hurt and Confused. 2. You reap what you sow. I thought I had lost him and then bumped into him further down the street. For the last two years have read a lot about infidelity. Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. A guilty kiss involves kissing a specific person while drunk who either has a crush on you or whom you have a crush on, and then using your drunken state as an excuse for having kissed that person. It is the gateway to another feeling. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. It ended up leading to a follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time. You knowing you can trust your husband to do the right thing when faced with temptation is all it takes for him to remain blight-free when blight (whether or not wearing fishnets) threatens. Once was after we'd had a bit of a heavy talk earlier, and the other two were after we dropped one of the little ones off at the grandparents and he started talking about if it gets easier to leave a child (ie when you have weekend contact and you have to drop the child back off at the end of it.). What if your husband ever found out? When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . Thinking of it over and over again will affect you mentally, and make it worse. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . For the last few years we have been trying for a baby and are currently going through tests to try find out why it's not happening. We lived in a small town at the time, and it felt like avoiding this girl was nearly impossible. I am giving him space to think. Can you tthan please explain this? lover. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. Translation: I believe I wish to say, what the hell, what were we doing only I have a competing urge to chose a phrase that could be taken two ways, to ask, where are we at aka what happens with we two now? I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do . Yes one should take care of themselves before getting drunk. I've noticed that other threads here haven't lasted very long. (As you were), It happened to me,too last Jan.31,2016, and it happened again in the following days. I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! Don't hurt him any more than you already have. My piano teacher didnt behave like his normal, reserved self and he made suggestive comments to me. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. Guilt protects our relationships. Nah Don't say a word about it. So, you went to a party and everyone was drinking. ;-)) Three women and one guy went back. You came to your sences and stopped this from going any farther. Well, now, that little lot *definitely* counts as 'debate fodder' relevant to this whole issue, rather than pure chit-chat. , By entering this site you declare Married woman slaps sleazebag's face and leaves. This post is probably the most intelligent and insightful posts Ive seen on this site. Well you need to figure that out and fast. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. He was so drunk himself that he started singing I Love Paris and, in the middle of the song, he said in a gruff voice, You wanna kiss me? Lee.. you are too funny. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. You want me to go on a comma and replace her. Myself and the man were sitting next to each other on the couch, and the other woman was sitting on another couch at the other side of the room. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name. Not just what I did but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. I was devastated. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you its okay. Drop it in CASUALLY, as part of general chit-chat, like it's no big thing (because if it's no biggie to you then that must mean it isn't and wasn't any threat to him), and in such a way as draws similarities with his own past incident. Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. You werent totally bombed out of your mind, so you realized what you did and you felt guilty about it. I went that night to a bar and began to get very drunk. I feel horrible. Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. Does she feel guilty over leaving me for another guy? Hey all. I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. Having eyes for someone else while you're married is seen to be wildly inappropriate. I know he would forgive me but I don't want to deal with issue with him. This is what I'd do because my relationship with my husband is stellar and we both want to keep it that way, and it's such precisely BECAUSE we're this 24/7 honest and transparent with each other (Speak-Your-Thoughts machines). Im more than competent at the piano myself, but this guy was amazing. As for what we believe about kissing being the gateway to sex (specifically foreplay, which itself is the main gate): if anyone believes it *isn't*, thenwellAll I could say to that is:

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